What he really means to me!

Things are getting really complicated now, I don't know it's just me who is doing this, who is feeling this way or this is something else. I know he is never wrong about whatever he says. I understand his status I know he has also come from a broken relationship and how numb he is inside. But what about me? Even  I have faced all the things and may be very early and very deep. I have always prioritise other on me and it's just namesake that I don't care for others now or I am rude, harsh and stone heart. It's not so, I still do care for others before I even think for myself. But it's just this time I wanna live for myself too. I don't want to kill my wishes, my dreams and live numb again without uttering a word and let things happen all the way they want to, no matter how it hurts me or kill me every second. I have done this mistake once and I don't want to be a fool again. I don't want to be a toy in anybody's life now. I have accepted myself and have started feeling good about myself after going through a long thorny path, I just don't wanna go back to the same place from where I have come from. That's all I wanted to tell him. It's not like I am being selfish or self centered. I care about him, prioritise his feelings more than mine and I actually want him with me. I know what he feels about me and even he know what he is for me. I wish he could accept and understand that what he really means to me.

Show me the meaning of being lonely
So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart